As none of the colleges I am applying to require essays, I decided to look for a scholarship and fell upon the Elk's Scholarship. This scholarship contained a prompt with around 5 questions in it and a word limit of 300 words. I first wrote my paragraph then I revised it by conferencing with Lori, my teacher, and having my mom look at it as well, in addition to a couple of my peers. I then gathered up all of their feedback and added it into my paper as I saw fit. I used more descriptive language to spice things up, such as "In the span of thirty seconds, my plans for the future were changed forever." instead of "I never wanted to be in the medical field before I joined ski patrol.". I also used better transitions, such as "For the first time, everything was quiet in my mind; no thought entered my mind other than the care for the patient and my team." instead of "For once, everything was quiet in my mind, there was no one in the world except for the patient and my team." I grew as a writer by taking account of all the feedback I had gotten and using it to improve my use of language, making my essays sound more professional.
Colleges I'm Applying To -
- University of Northern Colorado
- Northern Arizona University
- University of Colorado Colorado Springs